Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Ability to Concentrate

While this post isn't necessarily book related, I just have to throw this out
there and ask the question: is anyone else having difficulty concentrating or
feeling like they are torn in 100 different directions?

To further explain what I mean -
There are so many projects I either WANT to do, or am involved in, that I can't seem to properly *focus* on any one thing, for any length of time. Whether they are physical projects, like the veggie garden I finally got up and going this year, or intellectual projects - like two different ebooks I'm trying to get outlined & written ... time seems to be going too fast, each day, and I don't feel like I am either able or willing to give any of my interests/projects their due.

Of course, there are extenuating factors, such as the fact that I am on not one, but two different anti-depressants. Which either allows me a sharp solitary focus [temporarily, unfortunately lol], or makes me too darn tired to stick with anything for very long. I just feel so overwhelmed half the time.

Also, I'm going through *ugh* menopause, which I have read can exacerbate concentration difficulties. My doctor suggests what I'm experiencing is typical to AADD [or whatever you call it] ... sort of a *hyper focus*, but where I am easily distracted.

Oddly enough, throughout my school years and up until recently, I've never had any problem juggling multiple tasks, in fact I usually excelled at doing so. And WAS a highly efficient, organized type A personality. I was the person who got things done, and done well, and on time. My friends were always amazed and mildly jealous of all I could do in a day.

But NOW I feel so inefficient by my inability to perform to those standards as I was once able to. Honestly, it really sux lately.

Furthermore, I'm requiring more *solitude* in which to think, to order my thoughts, and, again - am easily distracted when in the company of others. I don't know if I'm explaining this well or not, but hopefully you get the gist of things.

For someone who did beautifully raising two children, school functions, part-full time jobs, keeping a 2700 sq. ft. home immaculate & cozy, cooked from scratch, plus outside interest & projects ... what the hell has happened? :O

Am I just wearing down, aging, etc? Or am I the scatter-brained inefficient person I appear to be? Bleh!

For some reason I can't *get it together*. Are my interest too many, too varied? Is this hyper focus a byproduct of too much time spent on the computer? Am I trying to do too much? I swear, I don't know HOW people maintain such amazing blogs as I've seen, with multiple daily posts, videos, interviews, vlogs, twitters, FB, Pinterest, etc etc etc AND still find the time to productively function in the physical world! I am both humbled and awed, and maybe a wee bit jealous, too.

Plus, where once upon a time I considered myself a fairly intelligent and creative individual, - both artistically and thru my writing - now I'm not so sure. The creative impetus is still there, boy is it ever, but the production end of the process has gotten way more difficult. Darn it.

In part, I do blame the internet. Not just as a *time waster*, but as a mechanism through which we are under a constant barrage of information, stimulus, ideas, and so forth. It feels like we are taking in more information and such than can reasonably be processed. For example, just one lousy hour on Pinterest and I come away with DOZENS of epic ideas/projects I'd love to try, if only time {and money, and ability} permitted.

Am I the only person who struggles this way? And, while I realize the answer, kinda sorta, is to scale back and only attempt what is physically, or mentally, *do-able*. Certainly, we each have our limits, but I still feel so overwhelmed at times. What I want to know is how on God's green earth do people have the time, and ability, to blog, to maintain outside interests, to crotchet or sew or paint or build the amazing projects I see, plus juggle family & friends & work responsibilities. And not lose their frigging minds?!

Right now, I'm trying [being the operative word] to or want to:
1)Get started on a grim dystopian I've been mulling over writing for months
2)Keep my large veggie garden healthy and under control
3)Produce & sell [small scale] my bottle cap crafts
4)Do the numerous home improvements, painting, repair, etc before I sell my place sometime next spring, if all goes according to plan, anyway
5) Improve my book blog
6) Gather, reduce, tighten up into e-book format posts from my paranormal blog; http://grayaliensreptilianhumanoid2012.blogspot.com/
7) Repurpose/paint/trick-out old furniture into steampunk furniture for a local art studio I'd like to participate in
8) Go green and make my own detergent, shampoos, etc
9) learn how to braid rugs
10) Try my hand at growing roses from cuttings
11) Various sewing projects
12) Get back to art/painting

And I, mercifully, have forgotten what all else is in my notebook lol

So there you have it. There's only 24 hours in a day, and I can't seem to do it all, or much of it, or hardly any of it, and certainly what I am doing I could be doing a whole lot better. Maybe it's the meds, I dunno.

But, again, is any one ELSE feeling the same way? And if so, how do you cope/manage?


  1. I know how you feel. I want to do so many things and there seems to be so little time. But I'm trying to sort it out. Try to make a planner and organize everything. And don't think too hard about it, just do whatever you feel like doing at the moment.
    And thanks for following my blog! I'm following you back.

  2. Hi Daniela *waves* :)
    Good advice! I think if I could print out those projects I want to do, and organize along with a planner & list of materials needed, etc ... it would help me to stay on track.

    Sometimes all I have the mental energy for is to curl up with a good book <3

  3. I know how you feel! I am not going through menopause or on antidepressants- but I feel torn in a million different directions. I have so many things going on I need a couple of days with nothing else to do but sort through my "To Do List". Then I think I could get everything under control. I like to work on everything, too. I do need a plan though in order to juggle everything. I hope I get to make one soon- and I hope you do, too! :)

  4. @DMS - Absolutely! It sounds to me like you're trying to play *catch-up*, so maybe if you could somehow arrange to get a few days off then you could get things caught up and *back to square one* <3

    Maybe that's what we ALL need .... some sort of a "reset" button, like on video games lol

    Worse for me, if I don't have a current list, and keep it handy, I'm liable to forget half the things on it ;P