Monday, October 3, 2011

My Stupid Mailbox Monday

Well, while the entire rest of the known blogosphere is busy posting their book-lovin' braiiiiiiinnnnzzzzzzzzz out about all the yummy, awesomelicious goodies simply oozing from their mailbox ... hehehe

Here's a tongue-in-cheek mini rant about MY mailbox [may it rest in pieces!]:
First off, MY mail carrier never ever e-vah gets a hernia from carting boxes of free ARCs up to my porch step. In fact, if I may be so bold to assume - he appears to be the epitome of good health & cheer. And while

I'd LIKE to further assume that any ... any ... ANY minute now he's going
to have to don a truss to lug MY huge ginormous box of ARCs up onto the deck [whilst dodging lazy cats sprawled out everywhere] - this does not seem likely.

Woe is me ;P

Secondly, today my stupid mailbox contained the following gems:
a flyer from someone who wants to loan me money
an advertisement from AARP [right]
and two dead spiders

Whoooooooooooaaa! Time to tone down the festivities in this neighborhood.

Stupid mailbox.

However. I have a fantasy. And in this *fantasy* - some billionaire book loving
philanthropist is sending me an effin' HUGE box of wicked ARCs - all of which sport the most incredible covers known to man.

And while I'm busy wishing in one hand ... maybe he's also sending me enough
Swiss chocolate to enable my fat cells to take a vacation for the rest of my envious life.

Or not. Crap.
So, without further adieu - here is a list of what I wished was in my mailbox, but unfortunately wasn't:
The Unbecoming of whatsherface
Ashes, Ashes
Cigarettes make Ashes
Monster Island plus sequels
Dearly Departed
Nearly Departed
Almost Departed but not really
Zombie Love
Zombie Lust
Zombies in Love & Lust
Brains for All

The icing on the cake is that I'm still having trouble correcting the spacing errors on this thing once I've hit save.
... and am too lazy to use spell check. Even though my bent fingers make mistakes, - like I care.

To any billionaire philanthropists in the audience - HURRY!!! ;D


  1. 'The Unbecoming of whatsherface' is quite a cool title I must say. I'd be more inclined to pick it up than the real book, which so far hasn't even tempted me for even one second.

    And if all goes well, there should be bookish mail for you soon.

  2. Thanks McPig!!! :D *YAY* ...
    it's fun making up satirical titles, I used
    to do this with romance [aka bodice rippers] lol