Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Sounds of Silence

It snowed last night.

Which is just another way of saying hell froze over.

On the plus side, sounds are muffled, so there's less chance of accidentally
waking the dead - we call 'em sleepers.

All the stupid movies I've watched. All the stupid books. Zombie this and zombie that.

One thing nobody was bright enough to think of ... maybe because it leaves the living about zero chance for making it through this alive ... was the hearing thing.

Smell this, smell that.


Any first year med moron'll tell you, the sense of smell is one of the first senses to go belly up when a person dies.

But hearing. Uh uh. Hearing is the last thing to go.

Hello Romero. Ding ding ding.

Even in geriatric wards or hospices - when everybody's gathered around granny when it seems nobody's home - the dying can still hear what's being said around them.

This isn't rocket science, Jim.

And that's why I've taped your big fat mouth shut. Because you won't quit screaming.

I know, I saw what that sleeper did to your wife. I feel your pain, dude.

He grabbed her up like a fresh-made sub and tore right into her. I saw him biting and shaking, spit and blood and bone flying every which way. Seriously, I feel for you, man.

But either you shut the fuck up or we're all dead.

And I can't let that happen.

Of all people, you should know better.

Maybe you've lost your mind or you're ready to let go, you wanna join your wife or something. I don't know.

But I'm still alive and plan on keeping it that way as long as I can.

We'll make it out of here, Jim - I promise you. But you've got to hold on, promise me. PROMISE me you'll stop making so much noise and I'll take this tape off.

That's better. You're nodding like you understand the importance of what I'm telling you. Here. Hold on and I'll remove the ...

NO!! JIM! Damnit ... DAMN IT, JIM!! Quiet. Oh PLEASE be quiet or we're all gonna die ...

We're all gonna ...


  1. Ok.... that's just plain creepy!!!
    Love it!

  2. You're a SWEETIE!!!

    Honestly, after reading about NDEs [near death experiences]I learned a few things about the sense of hearing, so I wondered how it might apply in a zombie scenario lol