Welcome, my beloved Bloats - to another grisly gathering of Team Zombie! Do shuffle in and make yourselves at home, there's a good team!
For your delicate digestion, we've prepared a humble treat:
Sullivan McPig has generously donated an ENTIRE unicorn brain which Velvet sauteed to putrefied perfection in an aromatic mixture of foxglove & hemlock! Aren't our ghouls simply mah-velous?! Let's give the girls a big hand (Ted, that was a metaphor... return Zombie Girrl's arm this instant!).
One must admit we zombies are the undisputed gourmets of the graveyard, are we not?! Who says we are but mindless, moldering hordes, all brawn and no brain? Why, Team Zombie simply REEKS of brains, do we not?! (...will someone explain the joke to Ted?).
Now then. While Lexie and Ashley pass around the plates, and Titania hands out napkins, everyone look under your stones. There you will each find a copy of our latest additions to the already burgeoning world of Undead Literature & Art!
(sigh ...UNDER the stone, Ted. Yes. You'll have to get up FIRST, there's a bright fellow).
I shall now read aloud from my own copy. Anyone with suggestions do feel free to mark them in the comment section.
BOOKS:The Oxford Dictionary of Embalming Techniques
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Zombie Sex But Were To Squeamish To Ask
The Gizzard of Oz
Gone With The Wendigo
The Catcher On The Rye With Mayo
(Way) Beneath The Good Earth
Lord of The Blow Flies
The Sound and The Fury of Flatulence
Silas Marner's Mortuary
A Separate Piece
Wee Willie Stinky Winkie
This Old Man (had brittle bones)
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Shroud
Ten Little Indian Burial Grounds
Yankee Doodle Ate My Poodle
There Was An Old Woman (Who Died In a Shoe)
Rub a Dub Grub - Three Heads By The Shrub
Scary Mary White & Hairy
Mary Had a Little Lamb's Liver
Jack and Jill Crawled Up The Hill
The Farmer In The Well
It's Raining, It's Pouring, My Dead Uncle's Snoring
Little Bo Peep Marinated Her Sheep
The Six-Million Dollar Maggot
Rules of Derangement
Saturday Night Dead
How I Buried Your Mother
So You Think You Can Dig
Creeping Up On The Kardashians
The Offal Office
The Buzzards of Waverly Place
There now. Wasn't that frightful fun?! Ah, it does a body good to bask in the worm companionship of one's pestilent peers.
Please be so kind as to deposit your plates and napkins in the casket on the way out (he's WHAT? Egad! ... in the casket? ... oh dear heaven ... TED STOP THAT THIS INSTANT! Put your bone away ... there's a good lad!)