Impossible Things I Would Love To Do

1. With a fun group of people and a kick-ass boom box, go back in time to suddenly appear in front of a tribe of neanderthals and let 'er rip. Maybe something pounding like Flo Rida's 'Low' or choreographed techno pop BSB's 'Larger Than Life'.

Better yet, materialize in the midst of some anal-retentive historical event such as the Salem witch trials, blasting the 80's hit 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'. Purple hair and neon tights optional.

Silly String or a super-soaker water pistol would not go amiss either.

2. Spend a year backpacking through the remote areas of Europe, especially Romania and Transylvania. Must remember to pack crucifix, silver bullets, and holy water.

3. Go 500 years into the future. Take LOT$ of pictures to bring back. Also, find someone important, convince them I'm truly from the past ... and then make up all kinds of nonsense about what it was *really* like from my time period. See how gullible people are in the future.

4. Sit down and communicate with intelligent beings from an advanced, extraterrestrial civilization. Try to convince them that humans aren't as shallow/moronic as American Idol makes us look. Cry if they threaten to blow up Earth.

5. Set free all the animals in zoos, factory farms, labs, and so forth.

6. Compile a complete data base of all the best ghost stories ever written, then spend the rest of my life trying to read them all.

7. Explore the antarctic, deep ocean trenches, jungle-obscured ruins looking for cool stuff left by previous civilizations. Try not to freeze/get eaten by polar bears/drown/catch some hideous, incurable disease in the process. Take lots of picture$.

8. Discover a cure for stupidity.

9. End war for good. This may require locking all the various heads of state in a public restroom with poor ventilation until they can either figure out a way to freakin' get along or kill each other in the process. Either way, leave the rest of the world's population in peace.

10. Press the *undo* button on every poor decision I've ever made.

11. Build a gadget to talk with/see dead people. See if any of them can get me the winning lottery numbers. Find out what the afterlife is REALLY all about, especially that whole *tunnel/light* thing.

12. Sneak into heaven and see what's going on up(?) there. Better yet, find God/Creator/Source/etc and have He/She/It explain in precise detail what the purpose and meaning of life really is. Find out if reincarnation is real and is so, can I please have a better rack in my next life. Also, try to get God to admit that giving fire to the natives was probably not such a good idea after all. Offer to wax God's car if He'll let me stay in heaven and skip the whole death/dying thing.

13. Eat nothing but niblet corn and peanuts for an entire week and *see what happens*.

14. Ride my bicycle from the east coast to the west.

15. Have my very own book store.

16. Lock myself in my bedroom for 6 months and have the peace/quiet to actually write something of [hopefully] merit, instead of pissing around on blogger. A six month supply of caffeine, nicotine, chocolate is a must. Try not to alienate friends/loved ones/people-who-tolerate-me during this period.

17. Romp, play and kissy-smooch with a pack of lions/tigers [especially the baby ones]. Nuzzle their sweet little fuzzy tummies. Remember to wear death-proof clothing.

18. Somehow apologize/make things right with every person I've ever been a complete jackass to. Try not to come off as a whack-job in the process.

19. Fly. With real wings. Remember to avoid airports and power lines.

20. Have my aging/aching body 100% replaced with artificial cyborg-type parts, even if it meant looking like a bunch of tin cans spot welded by Helen Keller. Barring that, have my *consciousness* transferred to a manikin, preferably a totally hawt manikin.

21. Dreads. I luv, luv, luv long, cascading dread locks and think it would be the shit to have them. Blonde, black or red - any color will do.

22. Suddenly develop musical talent. Everybody always impresses everyone else with singing at bars n' such. It's much harder being [semi] artistic at a party, as few people have the patience to wait while you try to draw something on a damp napkin.

23. Walk on the moon. Or moon-walk, either one is fine by me.

The end.

I Need Your Input!

Maybe I'm feeling a certain way because I'm under the weather with a seasonal allergy that gives every indication of quickly turning into a full-blown sinus infection.

You know how it goes. The headache day after day, eyes sensitive to light, dizzy when you tilt your head, sneezing, throat ache, body aches, out of body experience (I wish! lol).

So anyway. I don't know if I'm merely feeling funky or at some bizarre mid-life crisis thing?

But for the last year, I've struggled with the concept of minimalism. You know - frugal, basic living. Ridding myself of STUFF: clutter, figurines, knick-knacks, excess furniture, dishes, bowls, cookware, yard crap, old books I've collected, vintage jewelry, Christmas collectibles and on and on and on.

I don't know if I'm just feeling my age/mortality (okay, it IS only a sinus bug!) ... or is something deeper at work - an inner dissatisfaction simmering under the surface?

Mind you, I'm not remotely what you'd call a hoarder. If anything, I'm a very tidy, organized individual. A typical Virgo you might say, with a place for everything and everything in its place.

Still though, I'm feeling overwhelmed these days. My place is small and I've (once again) acquired more than I'm comfortable with.

My question is this: Do you ever REALLY feel the urge to chuck at least half of what you've got? Do you guys ever feel practically burdened by having to move stuff, clean stuff, shift stuff around, rearrange stuff, pack up stuff, sort stuff, and so on?
Have you ever seriously considered downsizing your home, your life - to take a hard-nosed no-nonsense look at what's really worth keeping as opposed to what you've gotten into the habit of holding onto?

Do you get tired of being a 'consumer'? Of bringing MORE stuff into your home?

I dunno. Maybe it's just my current mood.

But on the other hand, consider the following:

1) You can't take your stuff with you, whenever that time comes. My kids don't really share my taste in old, vintage antique crap. They don't start drooling over a 1960 Mid-Century Modern pole lamp. Actually, I think they'd rather p*ss glass than have to deal with any of my collectibles down the road. So who am I holding onto all this for? Me, I guess. But is this really what my life's all about? Stuff?

2) Is the economy going to worsen? If so, would I be better to try and sell off the excess and get while the getting's good? Because the sad truth of the matter is that no matter WHAT the fair market value of any item supposedly is, it's only true worth is what someone is willing to pay.

Furthermore, I have these altruistic fantasies. Like working in a soup kitchen. Except we're a small town, I'm somewhat disabled, and there's not too much I can find/am physically able to do in that regard. But I'm sincerely feeling the desire to pay it forward - somehow.

This sounds totally ludicrous, but when reading literature from the early 20Th century, I'm always envious of those adventurous characters who backpacked or bicycled across Europe in the those days. Paying their way via odd jobs and seeing the world via the back roads of small hamlets and villages, farms and vineyards. Can you imagine?!

Even a decade ago when I was still somewhat able to walk my brains out, I had the inner desire to put my life on hold and set off across the US. Not by car, you understand. But by foot, with all my simple needs carried on my back. Just to do it, to have that experience. (In all honesty, I probably would've made it 40 miles, gotten a blister and decided to chuck the whole goofy idea for a hot bath and civilization lol).

So that's what I mean. Am I just being silly, or moody, or is something vital seeking expression? The way I feel right now, 2/3rds of what I own could go bye bye for all I care. Maybe my system's low on chocolate (egad!)~

What about you guys? Ever feel like this? And if so, what do you do about it?