Thursday, September 6, 2012

When Life Gives You Lemons ...

... put them in your bra. Can't hurt, and at the very least - some of that vitamin C might leach into your system. Don't do this if/while you are nursing.

So. In keeping with our current month-long, fun-fest from hell, yesterday the son goes to crack open a can of pop. Which, of course, slips out of his hand and strikes against the edge of the coffee table. In a rare instance of physics-at-its-best, precisely enough pressure was thus generated to issue forth a veritable geyser of root beer, sufficient to the point that the entire north wall of the living room, all electronics, carpeting - and perhaps a small county up around Chicago - was blanketed in a runny, sticky film of brown sugar water.

This was at 9:00 a.m.

Far too early in the day to hang myself, but not by much.

Now, by this point the son and I are feverishly putting our heads together, to try and ascertain if we have somehow unwittingly disturbed an Indian burial ground, or if we are simply under a generic, garden variety curse. Either way, this shit has got to stop.


You would think.

Anyway, we also feverishly worked to wipe, mop, and basically eradicate all pop molecules before every ant in our zip code was alerted to the sugar buffet. Speaking of bugs, I know everyone is eager (Gross exaggeration) to hear how the wasp nest is coming along. Let's just say that I have trained myself NOT to look up when I open the front door (The wasps and I have reached an understanding. They can do whateverthehell they want, and I pretend not to care).

But ... as the cleaning frenzy progressed, we sort of got *into the spirit of things* and decided to go with the flow. And as we've really gotten into the whole downsizing/minimalist trend throughout the last year, we further managed to condense, pitch and otherwise remove anything that wasn't moving or glued down (or adhered in place by sugar solution).

Our two cats showed their support by hiding under my bed until noon.

Now, the whole point of this boring post is that sometimes it really does help if you can make the best of things. No matter how trite or cliched, attitude IS everything. And I'd like to boast that our living room looked sleek, spacious and spotless by the time we finished, and we honestly enjoyed the team effort/results.

Sometimes things aren't as awful as we think they are :)

** After a full summer of intense heat and unremitting drought, now we are having rain & thunderstorms to beat the band. After a week of considerable rainfall, down the street from me, one of the neighbors has a large *fairy ring* of white mushrooms which just popped up seemingly overnight. You can almost *see/imagine* the little people with gossamer wings and quaint top hats hosting a tea party under the moonlight. <3


  1. Awww, fairy rings are nice. I feel you with the soda. My old house was always infested with ants whether or not there was food around. Wasps are super scary! D:

    I agree that positive attitude really does help in any situation. I'm glad all this crazy stuff isn't getting you down. :)

  2. @Elizabeth - it's almost impossible to keep ants out, especially those teensy tiny ones about the size of two grains of sand stuck together. Maybe those are the ones they call *sugar* ants? I dunno.

    The only reason this past month hasn't gotten me down, is because a) I've seen worse lol
    b) lost my mind years ago

    ps - in order to avoid any possible ant infestations, I recommend everyone send me all their candy & cake, just to be on the safe side ;D

  3. I'd better eat all our candy myself i think. What if a package got opened along the way and the mailman would get attacked by ants? Can't have that happening, they're my main provider of books. ;-)

    1. Yeah, I'd hate for you to have that on your conscience lol ;D (Darn it! Sully's on to my tricks!)

  4. I am glad you were able to get the mess cleaned up and that you were able to get some purging done at the same time. I think with the luck you have been having you have the right attitude. :) Hope things get better now that the house is cleaned. Maybe the rain will make the wasps want to live somewhere else. Same weather here- rain, thunder, potential tornadoes. Wild weather! Loved your post- as always. You are just so funny!

  5. @Jess - I hope your weather doesn't get too crazy! Hopefully you are nowhere near the northeast - kinda bizarre to read of New Jersey & New York getting struck by tornadoes :P

    Stay safe, & keep thinking up those amazing Monday riddles, one of these days maybe I can guess correctly (not bloody likely lol).

  6. I am scolding myself not to laugh out loud at all your family's misadventures (not working). Your blog's definitely the best medicine after a test gone awry, my friend!

  7. Awww, Ana! <3
    I sincerely hope your ACT went well for you, but if it didn't ...
    go buy yourself a few new books and celebrate your courage & hard work - that's what's important! :D