Monday, September 3, 2012

Heed My Advice

At age 55, I stand tottering on the cusp of geriatric wisdom, - that hard earned knowledge acquired once you are too damn old to do anything with it. Hindsight, to be concise.

Since it's too late for me, and because I'm such a nice person**, I wanted to share a few important tidbits to maybe help someone else still young enough to sip from the fount of my middle-aged waters (that sounds disgusting)(like I just wet the bed or something).

Any non-perishable product that you love, or have sentimental attachment to, ... say, - a particular shade of lipstick/nail polish you wore to your graduation, or your absolute cannot-live-without-perfume ... BUY EXTRAS NOW!!!!!

Whether it's your husband's favorite aftershave, or a special clothing fad (Gauchos spring to mind ... 1976 ... wish I still had mine. OR the maxi skirt I wore to my 7Th grade Sadie Hawkins Dance) - stock up, put away, have extras WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

Even though companies have always been stinkers about this, I think they've gotten far worse over the last ten years - constantly changing formulas, discontinuing popular products (Kraft Chicken Noodle Dinner!! WTF?!) and just generally churning out new crap to keep us consumers always guessing, always spending, always seeking something *different*.

The problem with this is, nearly always, once a product is discontinued it is GONE. Unless you can afford to shell out the big bucks on ebay, if you're even LUCKY enough to find a rare whateverthehellitisyouarelookingfor ... in the first place.

Better by far, if you're the kind of gal who loves her Wisteria patterned wallpaper, or Blazing Saddles Red Lip Plumper, or Neon Grape Glitter nail lacquer by Opi (you get the idea) ... buy more than one!

What I miss:
Pot O' Gloss by Yardley
Tigress cologne by Faberge
70's platform wedges
Glimmericks (Max Factor?) paint in the box eyeshadow
Love's Fresh Lemon Bubble bath, bath powder, the entire line
White go-go boots
Neon-green Gremlin
Glow-in-the-dark Snoopy & Woodstock velvet posters that you glittered yourself
Monsters of Hollywood model kits
Creepy, Eerie and Vampirella magazines
Love Story (HAH! Threw that in to see if you were paying attention!)
1970 Stackable eyeshadows/lipsticks (no idea who made these)
Clackers (originally made with glass, banned sometime in the 80's, I think?)
Camp Granada board game (My childhood friend had one. I wanted it. I didn't get it.)
Gothic romances from the 70's (usually sold around .75c)(I read MILLIONS)
Dark Shadows (before Tim Burton turned it into the Rocky Horror Picture Show)
Peasant shirts, the kind that had a gathered bodice and tied in the back, these were uber popular and I loved them <3
Elaborate costume jewelry when the manufacturers weren't too cheap to make sure the stupid stones were prong-set instead of simply glued in
Metal lunchboxes, the fun, square kind with the Jetsons or Lost in Space logos
Genuine *granny* glasses ...

... and so, so much more!

Anyway, while I know this isn't necessarily funny, or even book-related, I've been meaning to write a mini-post about this topic. Just in case it helps one of you sweeties out there - so someday you can pull out a fresh tube of your favorite lipstick, when they no longer make it.

*Be SURE to store any cosmetics or colognes in a cool, dry place, in individual baggies to guard against accidental leakage or evaporation. Believe me, someday you will REALLY be glad you did.

**Nice people like me love appreciation, and what better way to show your appreciation than mailing me a new BMW or your entire life savings. Just to show you care ;D


  1. I won't mail you a new BMW (sorry!), but I wanted to say that I totally wish I had some white go-go boots. When paired with a vintage dress I found at Goodwill, they would be a perfect costume!

  2. It seems like every item I really like is discontinued the minute I go out to buy more of it. *sigh* Very good advice!

  3. Great post! I couldn't agree more. It is so hard to accept it when something you love goes away- I had this experience with a scent from Bath and Body works- no more cucumber melon- now, they're messing with my smell! No fair. There is a sandwich shop in Southbury, CT know as Mikey's place- it used to be a Jersey Mikes, but the chain had decided to chance the recipe of the # 8 (club sub) which is famous around the area- I myself have a Jersey Mike's #8 Club Sub t-shirt- lol!- BUT, the owners bought out the franchise and changed the name to Mikey's Place all to keep the recipe the same. And, a good decision it was- there is no sandwich like that sandwich- I don't think I could accept never having one again, and they are impossible to re-create ( I think it's the board lettuce or something). I always cheers them for keeping something perfectly the way it is : ) ~ Jess

  4. When I read the introduction to your post, I thought you were going to shell out some "life lessons" like Work Hard to Succeed or something LOL. And it turns out to be buy extras in case a product's taken off the shelves (or in case of an apocalypse)... not that this isn't as important lol!

  5. @Christina - vintage clothes ROCK! And if I ever find a pair of white go-go boots, will send 'em your way <3 and don't worry about the BMW thing ... a newer used Prius will be fine ;D

    @Elizabeth - thank you <3 ... it's really astonishing how frequently products we enjoy & take for granted are being discontinued/reformulated. Like Clairol Herbal Essence shampoos - those are like on their 20th reformulate lol (almost)

    @Jess - B&BW quit making CUCUMBER MELON??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Seriously? Okay, asap get on ebay or amazon and buy all you can afford! I'll start hitting the rummage sales around here. Damn, I loved that scent! :( And, very very VERY cool about the Mikey's sandwich (what all did it have on it?). Funny, but decades ago in Fla they had a small place called Michael's Subs and they were the biggest, yummiest works of food art I have ever had the pleasure of consuming <3

    @Ana - you should know better by now lol, absolutely NO real wisdom to be found or life secrets revealed from my lazy butt. And yeah, we gotta look & smell good for when the zombies take over hehehe <3

  6. I hate when something I love is discontinued. The worst is menu items at restaurants, because there's no way to store extras.

  7. @Liviania - While I never thought of this, you've made an excellent point! While not a restaurant item, I remember ages ago when Keebler made a cookie called *Dutch Apple* ... omg, I LOVED those things, they were a type of crunchy, short bread cookie heavily rolled in cinnamon sugar *YUM* <3

  8. Fantastic advice! :) Though that's what my grandma always said and you can't hardly walk through her house without killing yourself. But I do agree, if you LOVE something, stock up! I can't think of anything I need to stock up on, but I do remember some thigh high wedge boots I had in highschool and oh my, I would LOVE to have those boots again! Not that I could ever wear them... but I sure did love them.

  9. @Candace - Thank you! <3
    But, I had a *lol* moment when you mentioned your grandma's house ... omg, it is SO true. That generation saved everything, from 100 billion twistie-ties, to Cool Whip containers, to every pencil they'd ever owned ;D
    Ps - those boots sound wicked sweet! Hope you can someday find another pair :)

  10. I still have my clackers, lol. Just posted them to Facebook last week for the younger crowd.

    The good news is Dark Shadows is out on DVD and Creepy, Eerie, and Vampirella are being reissued as deluxe hardcover books. I've even found a replica Lost in Space lunchbox!

    Excuse me while I trek to my kitchen cabinet to sample my supply of Junket.

  11. @Keith - whilst you are rummaging through your kitchen cabinets, please see if you can find a box of Rice Kringles (Remember those? They beat Rice Krispies all to heck)- :D

    They are reissuing the graphic giants?! I must has!! <3

    AND how neat (far-out, outta sight, et al) that you still have your clackers! I'd love to see those ... off to try to locate you lol

    1. I posted my Clackers on Facebook for you ;).

      I did discover the downside to your otherwise fantastic advice about hoarding items you love: just discovered last night my supply of powdered Junket, which I assumed would last indefinitely, has a rennet compound that degrades after 24 months. Hmm, I stockpiled when they were disappearing from the shelves in th 1980s... oh, well.

    2. Thank you, Keith!! That'll be fun to see :D

      Bummer on the Junket - I just Googled it, don't think I ever had any of that. Wonder if it wasn't available in my area? Hey, at least you had the foresight to TRY! Smart move nonetheless.

  12. I would be glad to mail you a BMW if you would just let me know your address, the color and the font you would like! That way, you could have the B and the M and the W you want!

  13. @Heather - lol Good one!!! ;D
    Honestly, what I one day *hope* to find/afford is the (above mentioned) Gremlin! It's almost impossible to find one in my neck o' the woods :(