Sunday, July 29, 2012

Annoying Female Main Characters

Either the male/female *relationship* has undergone drastic changes since I
last produced estrogen [insert ten billion years ago], or I've played the game wrong
my entire frigging life ...

So last night I am enjoying a wonderful, albeit typical, YA paranormal romance novel. However, by the book's midway point I was ready to smack the female protagonist and pour a bucket of stupid sauce over head of Mr. Patience-Personified.

What the hell is up with these prickly, whiny, chip-on-her-shoulder, don't-touch-me-I'll-jerk-away-super-fast-like-I've-been-shot, monosyllabic, I've-got-issues-and-you're-gonna-pay heroines???


Can we say *over the top*, folks? Sure, I get it. Strong female lead. Not a push-over.

But either the guys have spent the first 17 years of their life on a desert island bereft of feminine companionship, or they are poster child's for Stockholm syndrome. Because there is NO way in real life any guy is going to put up with the level of abuse and general unpleasantness that some of these gals are dishing out.

Oh, but they do. Enthusiastically coming back for more of the same. Of course, our psycho heroines occasionally shed a tear or two, proving to the reader AND the male romantic lead, that these witches are really human and capable of a rare weak moment ... which is okay between battling dragons and wrestling werewolves.

For some bizarre social-collective reasoning, females must be emotionally uber strong, resilient to the point of absurdity, never cry or get cramps, and above all disdain conversation that includes complete sentences.

Now, I've noticed the above holds particularly true in {to be fair - only SOME} dystopian stories. The logic (?) being that weak (insert *normal*) females can't cut the mustard once the entire planet goes to shit.

Okee dokee. I've known loads of stereotypical *needy/weak* women throughout my many years of bliss (?) on planet Earth. They are often just as annoying, and smack-worthy as their fictional polar opposites - the amazing amazons.

But I've also known a few males in my time (heh heh), and not a one of them were prone to masochism. In fact, most males don't seem to care for the kind of girls vulgarly termed 'ball busters'. Just sayin'.

Anyway, I understand pendulum shifts in society. And no, most girls really don't want to go back to the mores & restrictions of Victorian society (the clothes, hells yeah!!). But wow! Talk about from one extreme to another ...

In fact, if I wanted to take a long, hard, objective look at this *amazing-amazon-chick* phenomena, I'd say it kind of bothers me that it is becoming so socially acceptable, so highly encouraged & marketed at today's girls that they may equate *aggression/anger* with *desirable*.

And why all this anger/aggression in the first place? Because there's no getting away from the fact that far too many female protagonists display all the symptoms of passive aggression. Think about this.

It's like a psychological knee-jerk reaction that's come a 100 years too late. Hello. The women's suffrage movement called and wants its angst back.

I could understand all the above if the fiction were coming out of a country that suppresses its female citizens. You betcha, baby!!! But ... that is not the case. So, what are females so prickly and angry about? What are they trying to prove?

Honestly, if you wanted to go all tin-foil hat conspiracy minded, it's like females are being oppressed, only in a different way. They're being taught to despise some of the very biological characteristics that differentiate women from men.

Or maybe we just like bitches. At least in fiction, it seems.

Because it only seems *acceptable* for the heroine to shed a tear or comb her hair or nurture a wounded companion or discuss finer feelings AFTER she's single handedly taken down an entire tribe of rabid garden gnomes or something.

And our *Amazing-Amazon-Chick* will only deign to allow the poor, hapless male to hold her hand AFTER he has been put through so much crap, and jumped through flaming hurdles, and been thoroughly insulted & misjudged time and time and time again by our prickly super-girl.

THEN it's okay for her to *fall like really super in luv* with him, and allow him a kiss or two. Because all this time he's been patiently waiting for her to come around, despite the fact that at least one other beautiful girl has been coveting his attentions for the entire novel. But he doesn't give girl #2 the time of day. They're just friends.


Personally, I'd like to give some of these fictional *Amazing-Amazon-Chicks* their very own copy of 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', and give the guy the set of nads he is so obviously lacking.

At the very least, I'd like someday to read where the male protagonist gives our prickly heroine the finger/bird and drives off into the sunset to sleep with girl number #2.

M.A.D. Advice:
Being a bitch isn't cool even if you're NOT a cheerleader.
Complete sentences never hurt anyone.
Combing your stupid hair once in a while doesn't make you weak.
Being *nice* doesn't make you weak, either.

*Edit to add:
I don't mean to imply that the majority of female protagonists are ultra prickly, but there are instances where they come across as real rips about every single little thing, as though being *difficult* is a virtue lol
Also, like always, most of my rants are tongue-in-cheek ;D


  1. I must say I'm wondering what kind of books you've been reading ;-)

  2. I wish I could say, but it's best I don't lol
    Anyway, not implying this is common & across the board, but
    it's there ;P