Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Team Zombie: When You Care Enough to Rend the Very Best

Welcome, my little flesh-pickers, to another meeting (meating?) of Team Zombies.

Shuffle on in and be careful to close the vault behind you. We don't want to repeat last month's fiasco where one of those pesky zombie-wannabees got their horn caught in the door - although the impromptu BBQ WAS a rather nice touch! Here's a joke for my crumbling comrades:
What's the best way to eat a Unicorn? RARE, of course! (Ted's drooling all over the place ... you there, Agnes ... grab the mop bucket from the back, would you?)

(Ahem) ... anyway ... who says the undead are lacking in humor?! We're so jolly it oozes from our pores like wine from a grape. Never a dull moment, that's Team Zombies! Which in fact, brings me to the subject of tonight's meeting:


While I understand the undead have made a simply splendid showing in recent books, movies and pop-culture ... I propose a brief refresher course, a backwards glance (Ted! Stop! I didn't mean backwards LITERALLY .... Is there a dead doctor in the house? No? Sigh ... Agnes, would you mind giving Ted's head a twist to the front? Yes, almost there ... one more turn. Perfect. Thank you, luvie) ... a backwards OVERVIEW then, of the many contributions, the uniquely undead influence in all aspects of society.

Can someone help me set up the projector? (Agnes, Ted's trying to rise ... nail his feet to the floor ASAP!) There. Thank you. Anyway, here we see on the screen a list, prepared by none other than your semi-beloved M.A.D., of our contributions.

Starting with (What is it, Ted? Yes ... I KNOW my pointer is a femur. And NO, it's not YOURS) :

A) Literature:

The Great Gutsby

War and Pieces

The House of the Seven Giblets

Dorian's Turned Gray

The Rise, Fall & RE-Rise of the Roman Empire

Madame Bovary's Ovaries

Oliver's Twisted

All Creatures Great, Small and 6-Ft. Tall Got Ate

Withering Heights

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf's Overbite

B) Undead Art:

Moan a Liza

Salvidor's Deli

C) Television

Two and a Half Dead Men

The Colbert Torte

My Name was Earl

Little Spouse Under the Prairie

Cleave it to Beaver

Gilligan's Graveyard

The Brady Lunch

I Scream of Jeannie

Soap Operas -

As The World Hurls

The Young and the Restless Dead

They Ate All My Children

Game Shows -

Let's Make a Meal

Bowling for Brains

Family Feud for Food

C) Music:

Have a Happy New Ear

Old MacDonald Had an Arm

Home In The Range

Deck The Halls With Parts of Molly

My Heart Goes On (a Bun)

Baby Had Back

Stumbling My Way Back To You, Babe

Knights in Moldy White Satin

D) Children:

My Heart Belongs to Daddy

A Tisket, A Tasket, His Brain is in a Basket

Knock, Knock, Who's Dead?

E) Stores & Restaurants:

Brains "R" Us

Olive's Garden & Crematorium

The International House of the Dearly Departed & Pancakes

Bath & Body Parts.

~ *** ~ The Dead End ~***~

Thank you all for coming. I hope you've found this compilation to be as inspiring, as upliftingly refreshing as I have. Please be so kind as to sign the Guest Book on the way out. (Watch out for cords, single file please ... no pushing or shoving. I SAID no pushing or shoving TED. Agnes, sorry to bother you again, my wee maggot, but could you please ... Agnes? AGNES!?! What happened to Agnes? Anybody seen Agnes? ... Oh, okay. .... there she is ... and there ... and over THERE, too ... oopsie .... Ted, wipe your chin, there's a good fellow)

A final word (of caution).

If you *Heart* Zombies as much as I do, or even have a soft spot in your spinal column for Unicorns, SHUFFLE on over to Velvet's at vvb32reads for the showdown event of e-vah .... ZOMBIES VS. UNICORNS! Giveaways, guest posts, and all kinds of grizzly goodies are waiting for YOU ;D


  1. hehehe
    My Putrified Pleasure, Giada

  2. LOL - the brady lunch!
    love the list!

  3. Wow! Great post!
    Here's an extra entry for the zombie music:

  4. Loved it!
    It's the best post ever on zombies!
    Makes so glad I chose this team!

  5. Great post! However, I am Team Unicorn :)

    Great meating! Get it? Meat? *Ahem* Anyway, excellent post, Mary Ann! You're a credit to our team!

  7. Whoa ... Zombie Girrrl ... I didn't think of THAT one!
    *MEATING* LUV it :D

    Yeah, there's no hiding the truth, Team Zombie rocks~

  8. ^.^ Whoo, zombies! :9
    Does anyone else feel kinda like a loud frat boy what with all this cheering and "whoo-ing"? I'm gonna class it up from now on and say, "Huzzah for the undead!"

  9. Huzzah IS a shamble in the right direction! ;D

    Great, now I'm picturing Animal House as performed by zombies :O

  10. WOHOOOOOOOOOOOO Team Zombies :D

    Also don't forget to check out my amazing blog design giveaway that ends 9/29!

    Ashley's Bookshelf

  11. ohman, I am extremely disturbed - whoda thunk it would be so easy to zombiefy all those book titles?

  12. You forgot the Living ReDead Girl by the most famous of Zombies...Rob!

  13. LOL... that was fun! I love the zombified titles. You could probably do that with most paranormals.

  14. This was a fantastic post!

    New follower here, even if I am on the other team XD

  15. Yeah, I love mashing up the titles.
    I have another [& much larger] blog dealing with aliens & Ufos ... on THAT blog I did a mash with alien-up the titles LOL

    Thank you to All for the very sweet comments, and a huge appreciation to all new followers as well :D

  16. awesomepost some of those tho cracke dme up im now a new follower!

  17. Lol someone should do something about those book titles! They're too good to go to waste :P

  18. Some great suggestion.
    Here is mine (in comments):

  19. Some great suggestion!
    Here is mine (in comments):

  20. How did you think of all these:) Lovely!

  21. I've thought of a few more songs!
    "Zombie's Paradise" by Coolio ("As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death/
    I take a look at my life/
    And realize there's nothing left/
    'Cause I've been shambing and slaughtering so long/That even my momma thinks that my brain's been nommed.")

    "Never Miss a Beat" by The kaiser Chiefs ("I really want a really big brain, with blood on it/ What do you want for tea? I want flesh.")

  22. Awesome @ Zombie Girrl!!!

    Wonder what we could do with Flo Rida? hehehe
    Personally, I'm trying to come up with something on The Raven ... instead of "Quote the Raven Nevermore" - I'm substituting
    "Cos I'm Cravin' Brains Galore" ;D

    Talk about a REAL *Dead Poets Society* ;P

  23. I tried, but I can't work with Flo. I'm really more old school in respects to rap music.
    How about some old Will Smith?

    Iiiiinnn West Philadelphia/ Died and raised/ In the graveyard is where I spent most of my days/ Chillin' out max and relaxin' all cool/ I was chewin' on fingers outside of the school/ When a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started shooting zombies in my neighborhood/ I took one little bite and they all got scared/ and said, "I'm going to my aunty's bunker in Belair!"/ They whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "FLESH", clumps of guts on the mirror/ "If anything, I'd say he'll eat these guys rare!" but I thought, Man, forget it! "Yo, bones, to Belair!"/ I pulled up to the bunker 'bout 7 or 8/ and I yelled to the cabby, "Yo, bones, smell you later!"/ Look at my kingdom, I was finally there!/ Gonna gnaw on some brains/ Zombie Prince of Belair.

  24. My GAWD you go girl!!!
    I'll always have a soft spot for Big Willie Style ... Miami! LOVE it :D

    Okay, ZG - HERE'S a challenge for ya: What can you do with Backstreet's Back? [ don't tell! I still bounce to the BSB LOL ]

  25. Oh! I can do so much!
    The song is actually pretty long (as we all know) so I put it in a post. Here it is!
    I'm afaraid I might have inadvertantly let the cat out of the bag about your secret soft spot for the BSB, but I'm sure no one will think any less of you for it. ;)

  26. You are EVIL, Zombie Girrrl LOL
    But REALLY awesomely talented, hahahaha I laughed so hard I snorted brainnnnzzzz out my nose!

    Okay. I am now OFFICIALLY tossing down the gauntlet to ya (hehe):
    Let's see what morbid, post-mortem deliciousness you can do with...

    Plus, if you choose to *accept* your *assignment* ... we'll do a zombie Christmas/Holiday post with it.


  27. I've accepted your M.A.D. challenge! (haha!)
    The post is waiting in my drafts file. Here's a sample of the mayhem, "There must have been a curse trapped in that
    Old candle they found.
    For when they burned it on his grave
    On his coffin he did pound."
    What did you have in mind in regards to the Zombie Christmas post? Should I just post the song now or what?
    Awaiting confirmation: ZG

    PS Would you like to team up for a meme called M.A.D. Challenges where I rewrite songs of your choosing and maybe vice versa?

  28. @ZG - ROTFLMBO!!! hehehe that's great! Dang, and here I am still struggling with *The Raven* argh ~

    Yeah, let's save that and do a Zombie Holiday thing somewhere near Christmas!

    And your meme idea is perfect! I'll have to get out my rhyming dictionary (if you've never used one - albeit you are good enough ZG that you probably don't NEED one lol - they really come in handy. Got mine a couple years ago at B&N ).

    ANYhoo: Game on :D

  29. I thought rhyming dictionaries were a myth! They're real?! *.* I know what I'm asking Santa for.
    I'm sooo glad you liked the meme idea! I love rewriting songs! Once I tried to rewrite Halo by Beyonce into being about the videogame. "I was busy playing Halo, Halo, Halo, Halo-o!" XD
    Shall we aim to post an official M.A.D. Challenge on Saturday? If you're ready, I challenge you with... the Brady Bunch theme song!!! (dun-dun-DUN!!!) I think I'm going to use the Flesh Prince theme song. Ooh! Brain wave! We should have themes! This week's theme will be TV Land.

  30. PS
    Good luck with your ravin' Raven!

  31. ZG - I'm having better luck with the keyboard for the moment (kid said the prob is in the cord?) - this is why I *hate* gadgets hehe

    ANYHOO - *Flesh* Prince hahahahaha
    You are a sicko lol, that's great :D

    So I'm on for the Brady Lunch, huh?! Okey Dokey Karaoke!
    Prepare thyself for undead awesomeness, my fine fractured fiend.