Friday, September 10, 2010

Obit: Zombies Done Et Earline

Pitfalls, IL
Vol. 17 Issue. 23
Date: 09/10/10
Closed-casket visitation will be held Monday, Sept. 13, 5:00 p.m. at Frank's Funeral Home & Bait Shop, south of the county sewer plant on C.R. 1251 for
Who reluctantly passed into The Lord's Fine Keeping
Friday morning in the back alley behind Piggly Mart
From severe bodily-type injuries against
her person by party or parties unknown.
Miss Earline were born into this here world on the 14th day of April, 1926. She were delivered by Blacksmith Cox and joined 8 brothers and 9 sisters. Her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Lonnie Edwardine Allen
preceeded her in being dead, as have the rest of siblings
exceptin Lonnie Allen, Jr. who is a resident at
Rusty's Retirement Center for Old Folks. She be also preceeded
in death
by most of her 217 nieces and nephews, at last count.
Miss Earline were never married and spent her spinster years
as Secretary/Treasurer to the Pitfalls Geriatric Garden Club
who hopes to recover the $1,000 Club Fund
which Miss Earline kept hidden in her home
and forgot where she done hid it, sometime last summer.
Miss Earline were also busy in her later years
tending to The Lord's Gentle Creatures,
mostly all them cats she kept locked up in her basement, garage
and some under the porch. If anyone knows where the key
to Earline's house is, please immediately contact the Pitfalls Press and/or Animal Control.
Interment/burial services will be held Tuesday, Sept. 14, 9:00 a.m.
at The Tiny Town Cemetarry
The Tiny Town Trailer Park
Even though it grieves us poorly that they be only enough
of The Beloved Miss Earline
to fit into a Men's Medium Shoebox
We are thankful to announce
that the Good Reverund Wayne
will be presiding over services.
And we would also like to Thank the kind folks at
Sally's Shoe Barn & Grill
for providing the shoebox free of charge.
Family & Kin suggest
may be made
to the Bowling Barn so they
can get the lanes buffed proper.
Donations will also be Gratefully Accepted
to the newly formed
Z-Team: Bubba L. Spanks, Srgt. at Arms

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