So's to continue with the events o' that turrible nite when haf the trailer park done got ate up by evil gizzard gobbling zombies ...
First strange thing I knowed wuz I heard moaning all soft and low comin' from the row of trailers nearest to the cemeterie, but I didn't pay it no mind at first cos I wuz thinkin' it might be coming from Miz Candi Bandy's trailer and since she's a single gal it weren't none o' my business cos I say live n' let live even tho haf the other gals in the park can't stand Miz Candi and spread awful mean rumors 'bout her reputation, but most o' them rumors ain't true especially the one about Miz Candi and that midget from the carnival who gave her all them free rides on the Tilt O' Whirl.
That wuz the summer Fat Freddie got stuck on the Ferris Wheel for four hours an' they had to call the amblance for the jaws o' life to cut him outta that seat like a 8oz. sardine wedged in a 6oz. can an' Fats threatened to sue haf the dang city.
Sorry if I digress much ... so's while Fats is in the trailer hiding the empty beer cans under his bed where his momma cain't reach to hoover up, I hears this moaning and they gets to be more of it, lots more, like Candi and the whole dang circus or carnival or such, an' I sez Ted do you hear that what I be hearing? An' I could hear t'other noises too it sounded like a bunch of drunks sounds when they come stumbling out of a bar at closing time. Shuffle shuffle lurch, it were. And I swear on my genuine Jeff Gordon autographed photo-graph that the very hair on my neck, shoulders and back stood up like Fats' momma at a prayer meetin'.
Ted don't say nuthing as he is passed out under Fats' Ford with his skinny trousers stickin' out - that is how he got ate up, them zombies seen his legs sticking out like drumsticks on a yard bird, but I don't like to recall him thatta way, I jes picture Ted all peaceful n' smiling n' dead-drunk instead o' dead-dead with his knees gnawed clean off and that one boot with the hole in it where he liked to air out his bad toe where foot fungus had gotten hold, an' them crazy zombies jes tossed that one boot with poor Ted's yellow toe still inside over onto the big cordaroy recliner that Fats' momma set out a month ago by the gravel curb an' the trashman keeps ignoring like he cain't see a big ol' rain soaked recliner sitting there plain as the nose on my face.