There Ghost the Neighborhood - A Halloween Tale
"It's pleased I am to meet you. I heard tell they's a new kid on the block. Reckon it's time we got around to sayin' our how do's. I hope you like it here. I do. Me and the Missus been here a long time, though it don't seem such. Time has a way of getting on, you'll see what I mean after a spell.
"I always thought this a purty place to take up. A good neighborhood, one of them fancy 'gated communities', even if it is a might on the rundown side of things. As long as they keep out the riff-raff, them wild 'uns, I 'spect it'll stay nice enough.
"I'll introduce you to folk first thing sundown when we all gets together. We're a fair sociable bunch, some a little too sociable like the Widder Brown, if you hark my meanin'. I don't take no truck with shenanigans and neither do the Missus. We been here a long time and a might set in our ways, I'm proud to say.
"Now, downhill yonder ... see that scrawny old birch what looks like a snake sheddin' its skin? They's where the Blackwells put down, the whole clan o' them. They's Ma and Pa Blackwell then they's some of the kids, and their kids, and I think mebbe a few blocks back behind they's cousins scattered 'bouts. Most all them Blackwells be okay, but ol' Pa Blackwell, he don't get up much once the weather turns cold-like. Rheumatism in the bones, Ma says.
"Okay. Now see over left yonder of your place, they's the Reverend Oliver George. He don't stand on no ceremony, so most of the folk call him Ollie. I still calls him Reverend and so do the Missus. We been here a long time and believe in showing respect where respect's due, by gum.
"Next door Reverend, they's the twins, Laverne and Leona. They like things all neat and tidy, grass all trimmed proper n' such with big fancy statues come all the way over from Italy. Nice enough gals but a might uppity for me and the Missus.
"Them lights? Oh no, they's a strange bunch backup yonder close by the old bridge. I ain't a tellin' you what is your business or none, just showin' you whichaway the wind's blowin', that's all. I'd keep my distance, boy. Even the Widder don't truck with that bunch.
"See, years back that area were let go and empty like, 'til this bunch took up by the old bridge - like carpetbaggers or such. They just moved right in and kinda took over the place without so much as a by-your-leave. A noisy lot of 'em ... always screamin' and a hollerin 'when good folks is trying to take a rest.
"Well, I guess they's about it. Sun be a comin' up before too long and these old bones tire out easy-like. I hope you get settled in right soon enough. That there coffin o' yours looks mighty comfortable, kinda flashy with all that red satin going on. But die and let die, I always says.
"You got any questions, just you ask me and the Missus. Oh, and I hope you're not a groaner or a moaner. Me and the Missus been here a long time and we don't take no truck with spooks makin' too much noise. We like things quiet in our part o' the cemetery, hope you remember that".